5th JUNE 2005

2day is my bro -- dominic's b'day
but den jus as usual day oni
din celebrate 4 him
anyway , wish him
HAPPY BIRTHDAY at here ...

if i not mistaken ,
2day oso is de day my grandpa pass away
but not same year as my bro la ...
hope he's at heaven now ~~~

2day , we went 2
Rawang -- ST. Jude church
when we went , 3 guys repairing de gate

after mass ,
i ate 3 plates of rice + noodles
` usually oni 1 or 2 plates ...

den ,
we went 2 pasar malam
cz dad said 1 2 but " salt chicken "

when we reached there ,
dad and bro in de car
mom , 2 sis and me went 2 buy things

mom -- " salt chicken "
me -- help gor buy tao fu fa and kiwi sai mai lo
2 sis -- follow me

i went 2 order tao fu fa 1st
and i asked de 2 sis stay there wait 4 me
cz we in hurry ..
but den ,
cat veli clever
she and emily go find me

i oni get rm5 from mom
suddenly , dad phone
and ask me 2 buy guang ming's newspaper

i dun hv enought $
tao fu fa + kiwi sai mai lo = rm4.70
guang ming's newspaper = rm1.00

den i phone cat and emily
planned 2 ask them take $ from dad
they din ans my phone !!!
after many times ,
at last emily ans ...
and i saw many voice msg

after i bought sai mai lo ,
when i went bac 2 tao fu fa
oni i noe tat they went 2 find me oo ...

i veli angry
i din ask them 2 go find me
hu ask them so clever
n din follow my instruction !!!

so , i cal them faster come bac
and i order tao fu fa again

den ...
i saw them
i asked them faster go dad's car get $
2 buy newspaper

after i bought tau fu fo and
1 2 went bac 2 dad's car
i saw cat

c win : " 1 me go wit u anot ? "
cat : " yala , if not 1 2 get scold again ahh ? "
bla bla bla ... ( buying newspaper )
cat : " jus now dad scold ... "
c win : " wat he scold ? "
cat : " i dunno. "
c win : " u dunno den u said he scold ? "
cat : " i jus noe he scold but i din listen wat he scold. "

in de car ...
dad scold ~~~
dad : " y u din tel u 1 2 buy things ?
bla bla bla ... scold scold scold ...
i asked de 2 sis ...
c win : " y u all din wait there ? "
emily : " cat said go find u de. "
bla bla bla ...
dad : " i angry is b'cz u 3 din walk 2gether. "
c win : " we din walked 2gether is b'cz we in hurry ! i 1 faster. "
dad : " how if u being bully by strangers ? "
c win : " when de thing happened ? "
dad : " til now stil hv de. "
c win : " where ? "
dad : " many places. "
// mom shake my legs = ask me 2 stop //

when reached home ...
mom : " help 2 carry things. "
~ jus now eat at church de things
# left = de church book , right = hp + gor's foods #
c win : " how i carry ? "
den i put my hp on my left hand
and i carry a xxx... ( dunno wat tat cal )
inside hv sum ' vegetable ' bals

den mom pull de gate
c win : " y dun 1 pull all ? "

reason y i said so ~~
1st , dad said park mom's car inside
cz de bird ... ( always shit on de car's mirror )
2nd , 1 2 try de gate

but ,
mom din ans me

so , i jus pull de gate til de end
2 try c can anot
den i ask 1 2 close anot
dad said 1 2 park de car inside

i gv de foods 2 gor
she asked me wat happened ,
and i jus replied get scold again
cz really no mood 2 tok so much
after tat , i realize i'm alone outside

i went inside 2 put my socks
c win : " 1 2 close de gate anot ? no1 outside. "
mom din ans me
again she anggap me as transparen
x wujud !!!
jus lik tat day ...

i'm angry
den i went 2 close de gate
i jus pull once ( quite ' ta li " )
de gate close til almost bang de other side
luckily i hold it
if not ...
i think i gonna get scold again
after tat , i lock de door lo ...
and on pc

den mom go and open de door
open de gate
walk 2 outside towards de car
1 2 park inside

when i c ,
i feel quite mang
really angry ...

dun1 reply when i ask !!!
ok . suan ...
u lik ...

bla bla bla ...

after sum times
suddenly she tok bout de charger
i said i'll change hp wit her again
and i'm goin 2 charge de hp myself
......
den she said
2molo c lim tuition at 9.00am
if mei 1 her fetch ,
tel 2day

i din ans anything
i'm angry

everytime say mus reply when ppl say sumthing
but she dint

de guo fen thing is ~~~
she .. as a mother ,
how can she anggap her daughter tak wujud ?
ya , i noe ...
she's angry ( i think she oso get scold from dad jus now )
but , how can she lik tis ?
make me feel tat she's not a good mother ( tis moment )

my heart break again ...
// suddenly feel lik 1 2 cry //

i made a decision ,
i wont ans u at least 4 2day
and
i'll hurt u at least once or more den tat again
whether sengaja or accidently

i cruel rite .. ?
not a good daugher rite .. ?
i think i'll b send 2 HELL !!!

haih ...
suan le ba ...
dun luan luan xiang liao
later sendiri kena balasan

jus let me
fa xie

after tat i'll b ok ..

leng jing ...
calm down ...

~ dun so sumthing wrong again ...

* i adi few days berturut-turut get scold !!!

anyway ,
de dialog jus sumthing lik tat
not de real 1
cz i 4get liao

hehe ... :p


wo de xin ,
you duo le ji tiao ba hen
zhen de shi shang hen lei lei
xue bu ting , bu ting de liu
wo ... wo ...
hao xiang .. hao xiang ..
ku ~~~

i wanna b a human
tat no feelings !!!

i can ?
i can ...

sot liao la ...
k siao ...